Love in the workplace?
Try googling that and your eyes water! However, in the interests of rigorous research I went deeper. Lose the “romantic” aspect and what emerges is fascinating. Agape –warm, generous, benevolent, self-giving, unconditional-concerned-respect and neighbour-regarding love – can actually make a difference in the workplace.
People, when treated respectfully, when listened to, and when accepted as valuable equals, respond with increased engagement and greater commitment. Even the hard nosed Harvard Business Review notes that in a Wharton Business School survey of 3,201 employees in seven different industries from financial services to real estate, the results found that people who worked in a culture where they felt free to express affection, tenderness, caring, and compassion for one another­ were more satisfied with their jobs, committed to the organization, and accountable for their performance.
And the renowned (but unreadable) Chilean biologist, Humberto Maturana, has noted that “Only love expands intelligence. To live in love is to accept the other and the conditions of his existence as a source of richness, not as opposition, restriction or limitation.” Imagine that! If we regard and treat people who are different from us as having a legitimate right to be whoever they are….. we all get smarter!  
 While advocating a group hug every morning might be going too far, establishing a culture of concerned respect and good neighborliness is, I would argue, just good business.

Ever found yourself sitting in a meeting that seems to be never ending and completely without purpose thinking, please, just kill me now!!

I have a “this too shall pass” tattoo  from a time I was constantly trapped in a Dante’s Inferno of  hellish meetings and while this time did pass, I saw first hand  the damage such meetings can do to morale and productivity.

However meetings seem to be an inevitable part of organisational life, and as David Pearl notes, they’re a bit like mushrooms which propagate in your diary like a fungus on a rotten tree stump.  While a radical culling of unnecessary meetings is often the answer, here are three  relatively quick, simple tweaks which will immediately improve the meetings you keep;

1. What’s this about? Write your agenda in the form of questions. Rather than have an agenda item which says “3^rd Quarter Budget”, decide what you actually want from the discussion and phrase it as a question. For example

• “How should we re-allocate the 3^rd Quarter Budget underspend” or
• “What changes are required to stay within 3^rd Quarter budget”

2. Why am I here? Choose who to invite with care. Like any guest list the people you invite can make or break an event. First be clear about why you are having the meeting and then invite those people who will be able to  contribute or have a purpose in the meeting. When people have a real role to play in a meeting they are more engaged and with all the technology at our disposal keeping people prisoners in meetings purely to keep them informed is nothing short of abuse.

3. When will (s)he shut up?  At the start of any meeting implement two rules; rounds and no one speaks twice till everyone has spoken once. Rounds are exactly as they sound. With every new agenda item (which is phrased as a question) a designated person provides whatever information is necessary to begin discussion around that item and then everyone in the meeting is given a chance to input into the discussion in a round. Only when everyone has contributed their thoughts does further discussion occur. No interruptions and no comments  during a round ensures that everyone contributes  and that meetings aren’t hijacked by one or two individuals. Another way to stop people dozing off when this becomes predictable is to give a small token  to the first person who volunteers to speak. After their input they pass the token on to another person of their choice and this continues until everyone has spoken once.

Great meetings help teams connect and connection improves engagement and team performance. If you’re keen to rethink how you use meetings to increase engagement and performance (warning: shameless sales pitch) talk to us about our Transforming Meetings programme.

And if you need convincing that there’s a better way I’d  really recommend “Will there be donuts? Start a business revolution one meeting at a time” by David Pearl.  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, a brilliant book.

And I’d love to hear any of your ideas around improving meetings. Let’s share the wisdom.

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”
― Bill Watterson

One of the greatest frustrations that managers bring to coaching conversations is that of staff or colleagues not meeting their expectations. And these frustrations often result in simmering resentment, deteriorating relationships and increasing disappointment at further unmet expectations. What’s a perfectionist to do!

Faced with the complaint that “So, do I have to lower my standards because of other people” the answer is both you do and you don’t. And there are some  questions to consider which  are helpful in making that distinction.

Are my expectations realistic?   As Dr Travis Bradbury notes in this article   very often smart people set the bar too high, and when people take too long or don’t get things quite right, they assume it’s due to a lack of effort. So they push even harder and miss the opportunity to help others achieve the goals they’re so anxious for them to reach. Sometimes lowering your expectations is necessary to allow for growth and development.

Are they really necessary?  What would happen if the work was done slower, less accurately or just in a way they might be different to your preferred way.   If your expectation is really just a preference you might find  there is very little negative impact organisationally from lowering those expectations.

However sometimes expectations are realistic, with a standard that needs to be met, and lowering them would not be acceptable.

In that case are those expectations explicit? Do staff and colleagues know what is  expected  of them or are you assuming that they “should”  just know.  Often the gap between  what managers expect and what staff think is much greater than managers realise.  Some organisational issues  to check include

• Are processes and standards  clearly explained and well documented
• Are people held accountable to those processes and standards
• Are there consequences for not meeting legitimate expectations
• Are you clear and consistent in your expectations
• Are you hiring the right people with the right skills

A gap in any of the above often leads to frustration which is then ineffectively  directed at the individual rather than addressing the systemic causes. It would be interesting to hear how others have dealt with these frustrations.